How to Be Self-Confident

“Nothing can make you feel inferior without your consent”- Eleanor Roosevelt 


“Your lips are big” 

“Your hair is so wild”

“Your butt is huge”

“You’re too light”

“You’re so tan”

“You talk like you’re white”

“Why does your hair look like that?” 

“You are tiny”

“How do you play tennis being so short?”

“What are you?”



There comes a time when the constant labeling from our society can get infuriating and almost discouraging. When we are told things by strangers about our appearance, our personality, how we present ourselves, it may come from a place of innocent curiosity or observation, but other times people’s opinions are there to identify, to group, to divide and keep people in a certain mold of how they WANT to view you.

Now, I don’t get offended a lot of times by anything anyone says to me because I know who I am. I come from a multi-racial family with roots in Guyana, the northernmost part of South America. I am intelligent, articulate and pretty darn athletic. I love to have fun, I enjoy the company of friends and a good shopping mall (more than I’d like to admit), but sometimes I really love a good NETFLIX and chill by myself. Unfortunately, that may not be the case for many young boys and girls and even adult men and women who don’t know who they are or even where they fit in in this life, but are told this is what you SHOULD be. If you are in that space, but you just want to be HAPPY with who are, what you look like, where you come from, your adversities and your triumphs, and where you want to go, just keep reading.


1. Love THY Self

Just being you is enough, I promise. We were all created equally and no being is greater than another. Just know that no matter what your race is, your national origin, your religion, sexual orientation, you are who you are meant to be. There is beauty inside all of us and you were created to love and be loved. When you are feeling low, just know that no one can LOVE you until you start loving yourself. To make loving yourself easier, check out tip #2.

2. Talk like You Are the Best Thing Since Sliced Bread


This tip goes for anything in life. If you want to attract good things in your life, make sure you have a positive outlook on it. In order to do that, just write down all of the positive things you have going for you and look at it everyday. It could be that you are healthy and alive, it could be that you just made a new friend, or you got a puppy or you made an A on your test. Understand that in life not EVERYTHING will be perfect, but you can be happy and grateful for the things that make your life WORTH living.


Take some time to figure out who you are, what you like and don’t like, what your talents are, and who you want to be. Take the time to take care of yourself, maybe, try a new hairstyle or rock an outfit you never thought you could pull off. Being by yourself is not necessarily a bad thing. It gives us time to think and understand what’s going on around us. So it’s okay to be by yourself sometimes and just dream. Imagine what you could do for the world, how you can make it a better place especially for the people you care about and for yourself. Dreaming can make you optimistic for the future and most importantly, can encourage us to think outside of that tiny box people like to put us in.

4. Don’t criticize or compare


You are you and that will never change. Doesn’t matter if you wish upon a shooting star or rub a Genie’s lamp, you will stay you FOREVER. Of course, there are a lot of things in this world that make us want to question our own beauty or uniqueness. For example, a lack of diversity and representation in the media, overuse of photoshop and photo altering software can make us wonder if something is wrong with us. No, there is nothing wrong with you. Just know that the things you see in the media especially on SOCIAL MEDIA are things people WANT you to see. It’s almost like an alternate reality where people can choose how they are portrayed and what “happens” to them. So, don’t compare yourself to me, or the next girl, or the girl after that or even the boy next to that girl because you don’t know what battles they may be fighting.

5. Accept THY Self


My last tip is to just accept and come to peace with who God made you to be because that person is BEAUTIFUL. When people want to give you their opinions, you can either take it or leave it. Nobody can ever make you feel worthless unless you let them. There will always be someone that is not going to like something about you and that’s okay. The reason why I’ve been so self-assured is because I learnt when I was about 15 that I am not going to please everyone, so I am not going to spread myself so thin trying to. The only person you need to be happy with is YOURSELF. So accept the beauty, grace and talent that has been given to you and SPRINKLE a little bit of it wherever you go.

I really hope this information helped! For more posts, make sure to subscribe and go like my Facebook page Tristen Zaryn.


Tristen Zaryn

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